You don't need a day at the spa

Hi there!

This month's community focus on self-care has allowed me to reiterate a couple of the messages I think are most important when exploring the topic. Firstly, self-care isn't necessarily about doing more of anything. And secondly, it's also something we can practice daily - not save up for a 'special' occasion or when we've managed to complete everything else on our task list.

Self-care is all about doing intentional things to improve our situation and our wellbeing. It could be more rest, but it could also be having a long-delayed difficult conversation about your workload with your manager. And yes, it could be a day at the spa, but it could also be building an evening routine that promotes, rather than deprives you, of sleep.

You could be doing less

As I explained in this blog post, self-care is frequently viewed suspiciously by those of us with hectic schedules and long to-do lists. The instant reaction from many of my coachees - after an initial, cynical laugh - is that they simply don't have time for self-care. But this is frequently based on the assumption that self-care necessitates somehow fitting in a yoga class or day at the spa. It therefore feels like one more task or obligation, so I completely understand the pushback I encounter.

But we can explore it from another perspective. Self-care can be just as valid and effective when it takes the form of doing less. Stripping out unnecessary obligations from our schedule. Dealing down involvement in optional roles. Pausing between meetings to stretch and move around, rather than punching out a few more terse email responses. Using your commute to disconnect from work. And even though social connection is incredibly important for our wellbeing, it can also be a form of self-care to step back from social obligations that just feel a bit too much.

So the message is clear: self-care can start with asking what you can put down, rather than looking for new activities to pick up.

A daily practice

"I'll do some self-care when I have time". "I'm planning to take a treat day off work next quarter". "I'll sort out self-care when I get through this busy period". Just some of the answers I get when asking clients about how they practice self-care. And that word is intentional - we benefit from making self-care a regular practice and not an occasional or unusual event.

If you wait until you've completed everything else on your to-do list before engaging in some self-care, then you may well be setting yourself up for a problem that's going to need a more significant intervention. Nobody intends to make themselves stressed out and ill from unsustainable working practices, yet so many people end up sitting in front of me feeling worn out exactly for that reason.

Let's not save up self-care for that magical day when we've cleared the decks of obligations, but rather make it something we do daily - in small, yet impactful ways. Ask yourself what one simple thing you could to - today - that makes a positive contribution to your wellbeing.

🧠 Time to pause and reflect

A quick reminder that I've launched the first in a new series of self-directed online courses. 'Pause and Reflect' is all about cultivating the habit of reflection as part of your personal and professional development activities.

Rather than operating on auto-pilot, or living with an unhelpful focus on the future, regular reflection helps us learn from our experience, draw a line under setbacks, and turn our insights into the kind of valuable action that benefits our future selves.

Reflection existing on a continuum and can start with a simple pause. Building on this habit, you can begin to review your weeks, months and even years. The course covers how to build this practice, how to avoid common pitfalls, and how to structure your reflection for maximum benefit. All taken at a pace that suits you and your commitments.

And there'll be plenty more where that came from, so keep an eye out for new training courses on topics like self-care, compassion, and procrastination. This short video explains how the course the works and what you can expect to cover.

📆 Looking to next month

• Next month's focus  over on WorkLifeSpark is self-compassion. I'll be running a Learn at Lunch session on the topic on Weds 1st of July, which all members can attend. So why wait? Sign up today! 
• On 14th July, I'll be joined for our next 'After Hours...' session by Dr. Joe Gray. Gray previously guested on the podcast to discuss the benefits of proactivity at work, and she'll be taking members' questions at this live online event at 6pm UK time. It's free but only open to WorkLifeSpark members. Another great reason to sign up for free today!
• The next of our quarterly masterclasses takes place on Wednesday 22nd July at 12pm and I'll be focusing on self-compassion. I'll be busting myths about self-compassion, explaining its benefits, and sharing some simple practical steps you can take to cultivate the habit of self-compassion.