Reconnecting with what matters

Hi there!

This month's community focus was on values and how to reconnect with them. Why start the relaunched community's focus with something like values? They're central to the work I do with my clients and represent an excellent starting point for many aspects of personal development.

Our values help us clarify our 'why' for so many things. 

• Why do I want to be more productive?
• Why am I working towards this promotion?
• Why do I find giving this feedback so difficult?
• Why do I want to start my own business?

🧭 Clarifying what matters to us most in life

In a world where it can sometimes seem like the attainment of goals is prized above everything else, it can feel like we need to be constantly working towards big, impressive outcomes. While goals can definitely provide a source of motivation and focus, values represent the quiet, consistent friend working away in the background. The source of meaning and purpose that helps us keep going. 

When we reflect on our values, we identify what really matters - and that's both important and impactful.

“Becoming more aware of values re-energises our sense of purpose, life direction, and meaning. Values can be a powerful guide to life goals and daily actions.” Paul Flaxman et al, - 'The Mindful and Effective Employee'.

In fact, it could be argued that we can achieve great things without any goals - as long as our small, consistent actions are in line with our values. While values give us a sense of direction in life - like a compass used to navigate a journey - the small actions we take each day represent the steps we take on that journey.

So, clarifying what matters to you is a great starting place for your journey of change and self-discovery. It's not always a comfortable exercise, and the realisation that we've drifted from who we want to be can be a jarring experience. But it's always worthwhile.

🙋🏼‍♀️ Values represent who we want to be

When discussing values with clients, I'm aware that the word can sometimes imply 'soft and fluffy' reflection, whereas what I want to focus on is where the rubber meets the road: behaviour. So I'll often describe values as 'who you want to be as a person'. 

“Values are about what you want to do, not how you want to feel." - Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap.

This quotation from Russ Harris's book underlines my point. Clarity of values can only take us so far, so we need to bring them to life in our everyday actions. Further, doing so isn't always going to be a fun or joyful experience - and that's okay.

Consider how you could use your values to guide how you give a colleague feedback. Or how you can use your values to turn down the offer of a new job. Or indeed, how your values could help you decide to focus on cleaning your home rather than watching TV. Could any of these activities spark joy? Probably not. But would avoiding them for that reason contribute positively to your life? Again, no. 

Values-aligned action is about doing what matters, not just what's easy or fun. But values can also help us persist through period of difficulty - be they an awkward ten minute conversation or a multi-month period of organisational change. Values can help direct our focus. Values can help us connect with those around us. And find a sense of purpose in a challenging world. 

✏️ Have I made the case for values? 

If you're interested in taking some time to reflect on your values, consider the following:

• Pen and paper can be an invaluable aid to getting ideas about values out of your mind. Looking at what's important is easier than just thinking about it.
• Using a reflective exercise like identifying your perfect day can help you identify what really matters to you in life. Consider what a perfect day would look like for you, write it down from start to finish, and distil it into a handful of important and meaningful elements. These will represent your values.
• Alternatively, you might like to complete a simple card sort exercise to shortlist your most important values. 

Whatever you do, look for ways to translate your aspirations into practical behaviour on a daily basis. The smaller and simpler the better. Notice how it feels to be led by what matters rather than avoidance of what's unpleasant. 

✅ Insights into action

If you'd like some ideas and support when it comes to turning values into action, join WorkLifeSpark our online personal development community. November's focus is on habits and habit-formation and we'll look at simple ways to translate values into action in small but meaningful ways. Even better, it's free to join our standard membership tier.

🎙️ Eight years later

I started 'My Pocket Psych' eight years ago this month and it's been quite the ride!

An overwhelmingly enjoyable experience, I've learnt so much from my guests and from the feedback listeners have been kind enough to share. A huge thank you to everyone who continues to listen. In fact, the latest episode just dropped and it's all about the need for organisational leaders to be more mindful about intercultural differences.

We're rapidly approaching Episode 200 and if the podcast has had any impact on how you approach your work, how you view yourself, or any other positive change, I'd love to hear from you. Drop me an email with your reflections on the podcast, whether you're a long time listener or you've just started tuning in.

📆 Upcoming events

As our year's focus on Sustainable Leadership draws to a close, we have two more free webinars to bring to your attention.

• Nov 7th: Our next webinar in the Sustainable Leadership series will focus on how leaders can benefit from bringing some compassion to their work. All the details and sign up are available on our Eventbrite page here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1296015139169?aff=oddtdtcreator 
• Dec 9th: Our final Sustainable Leadership webinar is all about busting common myths about leadership. I'll be joined by Dr. Rachael Skews who will help me make the case for an evidence-based approach when it comes to developing our leaders. Secure your place via this link: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1296031859179?aff=oddtdtcreator 

Thanks for reading. And if this month's update has inspired you to take a little time to reflect on what really matters to you, then let me know!

Until next month.